Crush Confession

Dear Rob,

You claim that this archery club is “imaginary” yet when I read your poetry I felt Cupid’s arrow practically stab me straight through my tit (32 C cup if this information helps) and into my cold little heart. Even after reading the opening poem, “What is a river?” I had to fight the urge to not make a joke about how the Hudson was the second biggest river flowing through Manhattan that day. I guess you could say you’re the apple of my eye, or rather “The Starlet” of my night. One day I could only hope to take a “Freight Train” to “The Valley” with you by my side and on the last stop you show me “Heaven”. Sadly, I wake up and “The Heart’s Joy” I just experienced was merely a “Dream Sequence Obscura”. I look out my window and see that “Black is the Night” so I sigh and try to go back to sleep but I just toss and turn because I don’t have A Giant in Me :( “I Find it Charming” that “Out of Nowhere” I was “Haunted by Your Ghost” for “No Reason at All” other than the fact that I wandered upon your little book and cracked it open out of curiosity and here I am now- “Hot for No One” else but you. Unless the love doctor can cure me of this affliction, this spell you cast on me, I’ll be just a “Lady, Fair, Sitting in a Tree” reading your book over and over again. I told my therapist about you so many times that he is getting mad at me and by extension you… “Oh and He’s so Spaced out” every time I mention your name. I don’t know what sorcerer wizard incubus being you are but “Whatever You Are, It’s Beautiful”.

“All my Little Rock and Roll”,

Your secret admirer 🫶